Monday, February 22, 2010

Modern Day Medieval Torture Devices... i.e. Braces.


So, for the past 6 weeks Tomika has been wearing what is called a 'Rapid Maxillary Expander' (RME) in her mouth. This, thing, is basically a modern day take on the medieval torture device, designed to wrench the jaw bones in the roof of your mouth apart so that your top teeth space out, and your top bite matches up with your bottom. It's what they use these days instead of ripping teeth out, and it's actually supposed to be better for the kids... Less painful and traumatic. Stupidly, as much as they SAY it's better, and call it a RAPID ME, it is, in fact. Excruciatingly. Painfully. Slow.

Every night before bed, she had to turn the barrel of the RME, which in turn forced the jaw bones out further. At the same time, it caused her two front teeth to separate, and a gap large enough to fit her pinky finger to appear in the middle.

Personally, I couldn't think of anything worse, but my girl is strong and confident. She handled the change to her appearance well.

Today she got her braces fitted.

Now it totally goes against my every motherly instinct to see my daughter in pain, and not do anything about it. Especially, if that pain is being inflicted on her by another person. But there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I had to sit and watch while the Orthodontist stretched her lips as far as they could go, stuck her hands up to her elbows in Tomika's mouth, and all but weld these metal thingys to her teeth. She then proceeded to string them together with barb wire. (In my defence, I may have been a teensy bit biased.)

I wanted to punch her.

ANYWAY, after all that, the end result is this.

All prejudices aside, I like them. For some reason, I think she looks like a proper teenager now. Now I know that's a kinda stupid thing to say, and it's oh so stereotypical. But she now seems her age. Instead of a nearly-13-year-old-going-on-30-year-old. Until she speaks that is...

I'm hoping it will keep the boys away for a few more years. At least until I can get that shotgun I've been eyeing off, and the custom-made chastity belt.

Now there's a medieval device I can approve of!


  1. Does Tomika know that every little thing she does is being recorded online?

    You said she was almost thirteen – that makes her, what, year seven? Possibly year eight?

    Did you think that some of her friends may find this blog? Or, worst, some of her enemies/not-very-nice-people at her school?

    I'd also be wary of saying what shopping centre she shops at, AND then posting the most recent photo of her you have.

    Stalkers/kidnappers anyone?

    Most people make an effort NOT to post ANYTHING about their kids online - I know I do - yet you are doing the exact opposite.

    PS: that comment about your views not being that of Blogger is just plain stupid - do you think they'd still be in business if they were responsible for every little comment made on one of their blogs?

    I'm not meaning to be negative - overall your blog is entertaining - I'm just saying that I wouldn't be posting all this about your child.

  2. Hmmm...

    Why is it that whenever anyone has anything negative to say, they always hide behind the banner of anonymity?

    Yes Tomika know about this blog. As you so astutely pointed out, she is old enough to know what is going on, I asked her permission to write about her. She is not worried about it reflecting badly on her at all. Actually, she reads it, likes it, and has even commented.

    How you managed to come to the conclusion that 'every little thing' Tomika does is being recorded online, when 3 posts out of 11 have been about her is beyond me.

    Your observation about the shopping centre she went to is valid, so I'll give you an A+ for that one.

    Most of the blogs about parenting that I have been reading mention children by name, and include photo's and up-to-date stories on their doings.

    Now: As for your P.S. on my views not being those of Blogger... If you had bothered to read any further, you would realise that my whole so called, 'Disclaimer', is tongue in cheek.

  3. Firstly, I should clear up that I actually don't have a blog/blogger account, so the only way I can comment on blogs is via anon -sorry if that botheres you.

    But I get what you're saying about anon/negative comments - and yes, that's generally true.

    I guess yes, 3/11 posts were about her, but have you considered that getting braces is a milestone? And her not getting the bread was clearly frustrating to you - as it would be to me! - but the point I'm trying to make is perhaps on the other days nothing out of the ordinary happened - I mean, I'm sure Tomika is a lovely girl but you and I both know that no-one wants to hear about her eating breakfast or watching a movie!

    I read parenting blogs too, and Mama Mia for instance - she doesn't post photos of her children at all.

    I just think in this day and age it's too dangerous - as I was only trying to stress to you. Espically re the comment about the shopping centre!

    As I said before, your blog is entertaining - I espically liked the comment about boys/chastity belts! - but if I were you, I'd be more careful.

    PS - I don't appreciate the clearly sarcastic "A+" grade on my shopping centre comment - you should be taking pro-active actions to make sure this doesn't happen again, and, if I were you, delete said post before it could be read by the wrong people, instead of making semi-witty comments about it.

  4. Wow, huh... You just reminded me strongly of someone I know. They make the same spelling errors over and over too.

    If you look carefully at the comment form, just above the Anonymous choice, you can add your name/url. If not, you can easily sign the bottom of your comment. But I'm sure you know that.

    I was unaware that my mundane daily activities were so boring... But then again, isn't that what blogging is about? I mean, there are no rules about what I can or can't post, are there? Really? Or am I missing something important here? First it was 'every little thing' Tomika does that I couldn't write about. Now I can't record milestones either? Is there anything, according to you, that I CAN say?

    While I'm at it, could you please point out where I wrote about Tomika eating breakfast, OR watching a movie?

    As for deleting an entire post because you, one reader, deem that I should... Hmmm... I don't think so. I am not unreasonable though, and I have corrected the post to reflect your previous suggestion.

    Whilst I appreciate your continued patronage, may I suggest perhaps, if you don't like what you read, that you can easily STOP reading?

    This is MY blog however, and I will continue to write whatever I like.

    P.S. As I mentioned earlier, Tomika has read my blog posts about her, and thinks they are hilarious!

  5. I don't have a URL, so, instead, I'll sign my name at the bottom - I didn't know it was so important to you, but I'm happy to do it.

    You're completely missing my point, and I really cannot be bothered going over it with you.

    I will say this: I am going to take your advice and I will not be coming back.

    If you continue to treat all your readers how you treated me, I doubt you'll have anyone return.


  6. Well said Catherine.

    The internet can be a powerful tool but we must be aware it can be used for good and EVIL.

    I think Brea should stick to posting about herself and refrain from posting about a minor.

    I personally, encourage my kids not to blog and give out personal info on msn ect. When they are 18 and legally an adult hopefully they can make wise choices for themselves.

    Brea, please take Catherine comments on board and don't try to belittle her with your sarcasm as she was being constructive with her comments and I believe helpful. Take her comments onboard and use them to yours and Meeks advantage

  7. I agree with both above. There are definitely some things that should remain unsaid and these things about your daughter (especially the personal details) aren't necessary.

    By all means, share your stories and experiences but with the world of internet these days, leave the specifics out.

    I enjoy reading your blog, but do have strong feelings about keeping personal details personal.

    I think both the above mentioned people share valid points and like anon, don't belittle Catherine for her opinion and points of view. Blogging isn't about having the last word or shamming the door in other people's face when they don't agree with you.

    Just be thankful that you have some followers who care enough to share their point of view with you.

    Great blog, keep blogging (but maybe skip some of the more personal details).

  8. Hi Brea,
    Saw your link over at Kat's and came to see what was going on - I'm noisey I'll admit it ;) I think that's why I love blogging so much! Anyway, here's what I think, it's you blog, you make the decisions it's your responsibility.

    Do what you feel comfortable with and what you want to do. Enjoy blogging! It's a shame you have had to deal with this so early on in blogging, I hope it doesn't put you off. If I had an issue like this I would approach the blogger in a more private way such as by email.

    Anyway I really like you blog and I'm now a follower.

    PS. I think your Disclaimer is funny!

  9. brea honey don't let the comment's of one or two people discourage you from blogging. Your daughter is beautiful and you should be proud. It's not anyones place to be critical of anyone else and they should spend more time cleaning from under their own door step before cleaning from under yours. I mean afterall they are the ones with nothing better to do than cruze the net looking for something to b**** about.

  10. Truce, truce! *Waves the white flag*

    I will not turn this blog into a soapbox for people to debate whether or not exposing MY child to the internet is a good idea.

    You guys have your opinion and I have mine. I can respect yours, I only ask the same in return.

    I am not the first parent to write about their children online, and I will definitely not be the last. The choice to include Tomika in my blog was deliberate and not made lightly.

    And that's all I have to say on the subject.

  11. congrats on your decision welcome to the blogging world.

  12. Marlee: I think everyone is missing the golden point that the first few commenters had: they are caring about Tomika's safety!

    I also agree that Brea should have approached this via email, although considering the commenter didn't leave any contact details, that makes it hard.

  13. JadeLD and Red Neck Diva -

    Thank you for your support and kind comments. I must admit I was feeling a little hard done by!

    It's nice to know that not everyone thinks I am a terrible Mum for wanting to write about the sunshine in my life...

    Having said that, I have learnt from this experience. I shall definitely be more guarded in future.

  14. For the longest time I never posted photos. I started to recently. However, I don't use names. I refer to my kids as son or daughter.

    My kids know I blog about them. If they don't like it, they can get over it. I doubt that their friends could find my blog anyway because they would have to know the name.

  15. Came over from Mama Kat's to see what was going on, and wow is it drama filled over here! And, I don't just mean all these comments! You've got a teenage daughter that's enough drama in itself, believe me I know I have 2. Look forward to reading more. I'm now following.

  16. Lola and Amethyst Moon -

    Welcome to Drama Central! And thank you for the advice. I appreciate you making the time and I am taking everything that is said under careful consideration.

    To the rest of you -

    Yes that means the good AND the bad.

  17. I found your link from Mama Kat's and thought I check out your site. I must say WOW! I started blogging a few months ago and thought nothing of posting about children...with some restrictions! I post pictures, give updates on what they are doing, and even use their real names (*gasp*). I do not however give identifying information like: last name, landmarks, school name, or local cities/towns. The most I believe I have said concerning location is that I live in a relatively small town in Texas. Good luck finding us on that info! I do believe care should be taken when writing about children, and even writing about yourself, as there are stalkers and predators out there. But I also believe that shouldn't limit from sharing expieriences of my children to people I meet online.

    All I can say, is take care not to give out too much information that can lead someone to your location. Otherwise, blog away! (Oh, and I don't ask my kids permission to post about them, but they usually see the post and they are fine with it. They actually enjoy seeing me write about them!)

  18. Um..holy crap. I read this post (which, by the way, gives out no more information than..really...any of the other parenting blogs I read) and scrolled on down to comment happily and tell you how awesome I found it. And then I saw Anonymous. Hoo-boy. Not sure how these people all found YOU! I say more power to you, and in no way were you being any more sarcastic/offensive to them than they were to you (though maybe that's just my love of sarcasm shining through). It's your blog and you can do as you like. If you try to protect your daughter from every way she could be exposed to bad people, you'd have to lock her in the house. There is exposure these days, people, and some is point living your life in fear as long as you're reasonable about what you share!

  19. I would get the shotgun now - she is BEAUTIFUL, braces and all. I am SO glad I had sons!


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